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"If I'm bad at this--" Spencer started, with a glare that would have scared a lesser man.

Jon was evidently not that man. He interrupted. "Practice makes perfect."

It got Spencer to relax a little, roll his eyes. "Willing to take one for the team, are you?"

"Many, Spencer Smith. I will take it and take it and take it until the team has, uh--"

"Triumphed?" Spencer suggested.

Jon raised his coffee. "I'll drink to that."

Spencer stole the coffee and took a drink for him. Jon made a face but he didn't really mind. It meant Spencer would taste like coffee. He leaned in for a second to test the theory.

About two minutes later--maybe, Jon was bad at keeping track of time when he was kissing hot boys who had been teasing him for his entire life just about--Spencer said, "I should put down the coffee."

Jon said, "Yeah. Probably a good idea."

Spencer laughed, a little high-pitched compared to his normal laugh and Jon thought, oh.. "Hey. Are you-- Are you actually nervous?"

"Remember, by any chance, that whole period of time where I was freaking out about being in love with you?"

Jon suspected he wasn't likely to forget any time soon. He was about to say something when Spencer followed up with, "I hate feeling like a fucking kid." He was forcing a smile as he said it, a close approximation of his regular sardonic one.

Jon wasn't fooled. "Spence. C'mere."

Jon tugged at Spencer's elbow and Spencer stepped into his space again, not resisting when Jon leaned up a bit to kiss him, maybe even meeting him a little half way. Jon said, "Just me, Spence."

"It's funny, sometimes, how for such a reassuring guy, the things you say can be so utterly unreassuring."


Spencer was good at making out. This didn’t surprise Jon or anything, after all, it was pretty likely that Spencer had plenty of practice. Jon didn't like to think about that, even knowing it was ridiculous, knowing that he'd made out with his fair share of people in his own time. Jon thought he wouldn't have minded if it had been Ryan--and he tried not to think about that either, because, the fuck?--but knowing it hadn't been, knowing it had been some girl that Jon had never seen, a series of girls Jon didn't have any knowledge of, the thought set Jon on edge. He didn't like the feeling; it was new, and something he could have lived without.

Luckily, when he was kissing Spencer, it didn't really occur to him. When he was kissing Spencer, nothing but the lush edge of Spencer's tongue, the way Spencer's fingers curved around Jon's neck, the low, encouraging noises Spencer would make occurred to Jon.

The other benefit to making out was that it was easy to shift just a little bit so that Jon's hips pressed up against Spencer's, so that Spencer murmured, "Mm, Jon," and thrust back and Jon could prove to Spencer that really, boys didn't require that much thought.


"You, uh. You want to get naked with me at some point, right?"

Jon looked at Spencer in surprise. "What?"

"Well, it's just. We've been doing the hand-down-the-pants thing for a couple of weeks now and I was starting to wonder--"

"Holy shit. I am actualfax dating a moron."

"Oh shut up." Spencer managed to glare and blush all at once. It was hot. Jon was not going to be distracted by this. Not at all.

Jon looked slightly off to the right. "You took a while to come around to, I mean--"

"Oh," Spencer said.

Jon nodded, still not looking. Spencer said, "Yeah, okay. But I'm sure Jon, I'm totally, completely, one hundred and ten percent sure."

Jon caught his gaze. "Then for fuck's sake. What are you doing still dressed?"


Jon had seen Spencer naked before. Of course he'd seen Spencer naked, they were in college and they all but lived together. Somehow it was different when the getting there was hasty, rushed, and shortly followed by kissing. Spencer beat him in the undressing process, which wasn't fair because Jon hadn't even been wearing socks, but evidently Spencer was unnaturally skilled at that sort of thing.

Jon had to not think about that. There was nothing less sexy than premature ejaculation, and Jon was twenty, not thirteen.

"So," Spencer said, in between kisses, "I was thinking."

"Glug," Jon said, because whatever dude, okay, whatever? Spencer's tongue, his tongue and the soft crest of his hips, that was what mattered here.

"I should maybe suck you. Y'know, just to try."

"Try, yeah." That was totally why Spencer should suck Jon.

"So, I mean--" Spencer shoved Jon. Jon stumbled a bit before toppling over backward onto the bed.


"The floors are hardwood, asshole," Spencer said, but he seemed preoccupied with eyeing Jon's cock.

Jon said, "Hey."

Spencer looked up at him. Jon grinned. "Relax."

Spencer muttered, "I hate you," before leaning over, flicking his tongue over the head of Jon's cock in a curious, figuring-things-out sort of gesture. He said, "Um, probably not that different from what I like, huh?"

Jon managed the breath to say, "Probably not." He wasn't going to claim it came out sounding calm.

"Hm," Spencer said, and slipped his mouth around the head. Jon fisted his hands in the sheets and thought disgusting thoughts. The last time he had come just at someone putting his cock in their mouth had been during his first blowjob. He knew Spencer didn't have that much experience to go by, but he was a guy. It was going to be pretty obvious if Jon was bad at sex.

He thought of that time Dylan had gotten out and brought Brendon and him the dead bird, and the beef surprise from the cafeteria, and even that time his mom had made him buy her tampons. It was just enough, just barely enough, to keep him from totally losing every cool point he'd ever had with Spencer, ever.

Spencer pulled off. "So, this is kinda weird."

Please don't stop, please please. "Uh."

"Hot. But weird."

Jon was a little worried about the fact that Spencer was still completely coherent. Spencer traced his tongue along the underside of Jon's cock and after that it was beyond his ability to worry. All he could do was tighten his grip on the sheets to remind himself not to push at Spencer's head. Instead he gasped, "Spencer," to make sure Spencer knew he appreciated it.

Spencer responded with an, "Mmm," and despite the fact that he didn't even have half of Jon's cock in his mouth and really wasn't sucking near to as strongly as Jon usually liked it, Jon pushed at Spencer, pushed until he came up, off of Jon's cock.

Jon leaned a little to side so that he wouldn't hit Spencer's face because they hadn't exactly talked about things like that and maybe Spencer liked that, but maybe he didn't and Jon really thought it was best not to take the chance. When Jon had come down off his climax, Spencer was blinking down at him, managing to look surprised and smug all at once. He said, "Huh."

Jon wasn't really listening, though. His eye had caught on Spencer's cock and before he could really think about it he said, "You should fuck me."

There was a moment of silence and when Jon looked up at Spencer he looked a little doubtful. "Uh, you just--"

Oh. "Yeah. I. I kinda like it that way." Jon had never just said that to someone before. Usually he pretended like he could get it up again or like he wasn't paying enough attention to notice or whatever.

Spencer said, "Wow," his breath catching in his throat. "So, um."

"There's stuff in the bathroom," Jon said. They hadn't really planned on going this far.

Spencer nodded. "Just-- Second, right?"

Jon wasn't in a hurry anymore. He watched lazily as Spencer all but scampered from the room. He heard Brendon make a catcall, cut off by what Jon imagined was Ryan kissing him. Or hitting him. Either way, really.

Spencer came back and spilled more condoms than they would probably need in a week next to a tube of KY. Jon pulled him down beside him and kissed him a little lazily. Spencer said, "You remember I haven't done this, right?"

"Relax," Jon said. "It turns out I'm easy for you."

Spencer laughed, but it was a nervous laugh. Jon kissed him some more, fisting Spencer's cock gently, not enough to get him too worked up. He pulled back and said, "I wanna watch your face."

"Yeah, yeah, I-- Yeah."

Jon rolled onto his back and drew his legs up. Spencer flushed, but it wasn't embarrassment. Jon said, "Warm the lube first, okay?"

"Oh, yeah, that's, right, good idea." Spencer managed to get himself upright, on his knees where he had access to Jon. He popped the tube and followed instructions and Jon closed his eyes as Spencer pushed in with his first finger.

"Um, should I--"

"Whatever you want," Jon said. "It's your first time. Enjoy it."

Jon should have known that would mean Spencer would take his time. Spencer, as it had been adequately proven, didn't like to rush into anything. He pushed and pulled and twisted and when he found Jon's prostate, Jon moaning at the too much, too much, just right of it, he said, "Oh shit," and pulled right out.

Jon said, "No, no. Good."


Jon wasn't in a place where he could explain to Spencer that this was what he liked, this moment of going somewhere that was just that step too far for the other person. Instead he said, "Please, Spence. Please."

Spencer was quiet for a moment and Jon opened his eyes to look at him. Spencer was considering Jon. He said, "That's-- That's ridiculously hot, Jon Walker," his voice shaking just ever so slightly.

Jon said, "Please," low and drawn out.

Spencer gave him two fingers. Jon came off the bed, panting, making noises that he knew had to sound stupid. Spencer was saying, "Fuck, yeah," other things, things that were mostly just background noise to Jon, the low hum of Spencer that turned Jon on just about as much as anything else.

"Spence," Jon said, although he wasn't sure it actually came out like that. It was only one syllable and all, but Jon had two of Spencer's fingers in his ass, so he didn't think he should be held accountable.

"Yeah, yeah," Spencer drew out and Jon watched, eyes feeling wide, blown, while Spencer fumbled with the condom, his fingers having trouble getting the packet open. Jon held a hand out. Spencer all but threw the package at him.

Jon managed in a couple of tries and said, "C'mere."

Spencer leaned in so that Jon could roll the condom down over him. He made a noise that didn't really sound all that human. Jon smiled, pleased with himself.

Spencer said, "Oh, just wait," but he didn't sound pissy, he sounded anxious.

He pushed at Jon's left thigh with one hand, guiding himself in with the other. He'd no sooner gotten the head of his cock in than he made a strangled sound. Jon grinned. "Wondering what you were doing with girls all this time, huh?"

Spencer didn't answer, just pushed the rest of the way in. Jon took a second to get accustomed to the fullness. Spencer wasn't in at the greatest angle and it hurt a little, but it was also Spencer and Jon didn't really care all that much. Spencer said, "Am I-- What--"

Jon pushed up at him a little, said, "Just, back and then, right-- Oh. Yeah, Yeah, like that."

Spencer's eyes were huge, watching Jon's face and Jon watched right back. Spencer said, "Jon," the word full of things that both of them were too far gone to really think about just then.

Spencer slowed down for a second dragging his way along Jon's prostate and Jon made a high-pitched, breathless noise.

"Too-- Too mu--"

"Don't stop." Please, please don't stop.

"Don't. Not. Not sure I can." Spencer's words were frantic, in time with his breathing. Jon reached out and pulled him in, bringing their mouths together. It was a little sloppy, and Spencer's teeth caught on Jon's lips and neither of them noticed, not at all.

Jon said, "Spencer," into Spencer's mouth and Spencer whimpered, tightening in Jon's arms and coming.

When Spencer loosened up, went limp in Jon's arms, Jon asked, "Right decision?"

"Mmblgh," Spencer said. Jon laughed a little, Spencer's weight pressing into him, making it hard to breathe. He carded a hand through Spencer's hair and didn't move him, not an inch.


They woke up some time later, sweaty and stuck together and both clearly quite pleased with themselves. Jon said, philosophically, "Maybe we should shower."

Spencer grunted. "That is the worst idea you have ever had, Jon Walker."

Jon doubted that. "The worst?"

"Well, okay, maybe not as bad as that whole pickles and raspberry jam thing. I don't know what the fuck you were thinking." Then, "Oh. Food. We should eat. To sustain ourselves, and such."

"You just want me to have the energy to suck you."

"Only fair, really," Spencer replied. "I mean, seeing as how I did all the work this time."

Jon thought that over, eyeing Spencer's cock. It was currently resting, but he was pretty sure, given some food, that he could change that. "Yeah, okay."

Spencer perked up a little. "Really?"

Jon laughed and kissed Spencer, quick and neat. "Sure, but you're making me pancakes. From the box with the fake blueberries."

"Who says?"

"The guy who’s making the coffee," Jon told him.

"Oh, in that case," Spencer said and made no move to get up. Jon was pretty sure he was going to have to push him out of the bed. In a minute. Or two.

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Skin by egelantier, photo by microbophile